Are your feelings like a scary movie????

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Do certain emotions freak you out?  Like love for example.  Does the thought of being in love terrify you so much you find yourself retreating up the stairs and trapped in a closet while love comes after you ready to attack at any second?  (In every scary movie, everyone always runs up the stairs and […]

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A life of shame but was it your regret?

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There have been times that I will admit to have done some pretty stupid things.  I may have said some mean or hurtful things about someone or to someone during a fight but always apologized and let that person know I never truly meant them.  When I found out I had bipolar, I wanted to […]

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Bipolar Brain Block to Cell Block

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No matter how much I try, or how many writing prompts or exercises I try, I just can’t seem to write these days. A lot of people suggest to, “write what you know.”  Well, sometimes what I know just gets kind of boring.  It feels redundant.  How many posts can I write about what I’m […]

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Closing the Door

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The last bag is packed, the boxes all taped Every thought about every mistake I look around the cold and empty room No longer home, the bride leaving the groom There’s suddenly no air, my lungs, I can’t breathe My legs begin to tremor so I can not leave The desyncappated beat of whats left […]

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My Angel

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You came to me from out of the blue I was broken and tattered with a heart torn in two Where did you come from? You didn’t say a word You put your arms around me and immediately I felt cured Your laughter and smile make me laugh and smile too You’ve made me want […]

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Hot Mess Gets Her Shit Together

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Having such a public lifestyle, and yes, I knew that when I started this, I get a lot of opinions, suggestions, and advice on where I should go from here with my life and my blog and my love life.  You name it, I get the advice. Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate ALL […]

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Why do I keep everything buried inside?

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Someone asked me the other day why I keep everything inside. They wanted to know why I don’t talk to anyone about anything that is bothering me and let it all keep building up in there. There are a million reasons why people keep things tucked away, far down below where no one can see […]

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They are Here! Bipolar Hot Mess T-Shirts

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A great big shout out to AIR-WEAR Recovery for working so hard to make them look so AHHMAZING!  Each shirt can be personalized so you can pick your color  and style and then the logo you want as well!  Also, for each shirt purchased, a donation will be made to the Bipolar Hot Mess website. […]

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Is one type of pain better than another?

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Is physical pain better or worse than emotional pain? More like, is CHRONIC physical pain worse than emotional pain? The answer?  Neither is better or worse than the other.  Emotional pain, while it begins mentally, it can absolutely cause physical pain too.  Chronic pain? It starts in episodes, then it just kinda settles in, unpacks […]

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My Friend ED.. aka eating disorder

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Friend.  HA!  Isn’t that a joke. ED wants you to think he’s your friend, but does a friend slowly suck the life out of you and consume your ever waking (and even sleeping) moment with obsession and self loathing?  Hmmm. Actually… Just Kidding.  I wouldn’t call that a friend!  And yet, no matter how hard […]

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