My Angel

You came to me from out of the blue I was broken and tattered with a heart torn in two Where did you come from? You didn’t say a word You put your arms around me and immediately I felt cured Your laughter and smile make me laugh and smile too You’ve made me want to be better not just for me, but also for you I want you to feel happy, cared, and loved… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Hot Mess Gets Her Shit Together

Having such a public lifestyle, and yes, I knew that when I started this, I get a lot of opinions, suggestions, and advice on where I should go from here with my life and my blog and my love life.  You name it, I get the advice. Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate ALL the advice and suggestions and opinions from everyone. I truly do. That said, many of you know all the struggles… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Why do I keep everything buried inside?

Someone asked me the other day why I keep everything inside. They wanted to know why I don’t talk to anyone about anything that is bothering me and let it all keep building up in there. There are a million reasons why people keep things tucked away, far down below where no one can see it or come close to accessing it. When you do ask, you will probably get a plethora of different answers.… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

They are Here! Bipolar Hot Mess T-Shirts

A great big shout out to AIR-WEAR Recovery for working so hard to make them look so AHHMAZING!  Each shirt can be personalized so you can pick your color  and style and then the logo you want as well!  Also, for each shirt purchased, a donation will be made to the Bipolar Hot Mess website.  Now, check out these awesome tees and snatch yours up ASAP! I’m so excited about this!  I’ve been wanting to… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Is one type of pain better than another?

Is physical pain better or worse than emotional pain? More like, is CHRONIC physical pain worse than emotional pain? The answer?  Neither is better or worse than the other.  Emotional pain, while it begins mentally, it can absolutely cause physical pain too.  Chronic pain? It starts in episodes, then it just kinda settles in, unpacks it’s bags and puts it’s feet up as you learn to deal with more and more pain.  Emotional pain, does… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

My Friend ED.. aka eating disorder

Friend.  HA!  Isn’t that a joke. ED wants you to think he’s your friend, but does a friend slowly suck the life out of you and consume your ever waking (and even sleeping) moment with obsession and self loathing?  Hmmm. Actually… Just Kidding.  I wouldn’t call that a friend!  And yet, no matter how hard you try to get rid of him, he is always there, just lingering in the back of your mind, just… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

What happens if you say no?

In the last few weeks, I have had a few people approach me and ask me for help in some form or another.  Now, what is the Hot Mess’ immediate reaction when someone asks for help? “Sure!” And then it happens.  I’ve committed to something else.  What I fail to do before immediately responding is to assess how much I currently have on my plate, or what I have going on in my life and… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

AHHHH! It’s a compliment!! HIDE!!!

Does anyone else find it hard or uncomfortable when they receive a compliment?  Like, almost unreal or unbelievable that someone would think that of you?  I have found it increasingly hard to accept a compliment.  For many, many years I battled with low self-esteem and when I finally started to gain it back, I was surrounded by people who knocked me down.  When you are continually put down, it gradually wears on you and breaks… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

The “WTF Is Happening” Phase

Initial Chaos I can’t speak for everyone, but right before I was diagnosed with bipolar and the weeks and months after, there was A LOT of chaos. When I talk about chaos, I talk not just with me, but with my friends and family too. One minute, there I was, sitting in my office Bates stamping documents for a document production for one of the cases I was working on, the next, I was in… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

A Day In the Life of A Bipolar in Therapy

This is a direct entry from my journal.  Sometimes I have to look back to see how far I have come and to remind myself where I DON’T want to go…… September 16, 2006 I spent the day with MSA from group.  I had a good time.  [My boyfriend’s] friend gave us his tickets to go see Wicked and we went.  This was the second night in a row I felt normal.  I mean, we… Continue Reading

Print Friendly, PDF & Email