A flight isn’t a flight without a glance at the Skymall catalog!!!!!!

How can you NOT look at it?!!!  There is that 20 minutes or so that the flight attendants make you turn off ALL electronic devices (they now include the Kindle in their announcement) and listen to the recorded version of how to put on your seatbelt (although, by the time the recording starts, the plane has pulled away from the gate and the flight attendants have checked you 3 times to verify you have your seatbelt on!!!!) and how to use your seat as a floatation device (which I really do want to test out someday!  I still don’t buy it that those things float….).  You have to dig into that front seat pocket anyway to see what movie they are showing in flight and to see what booze they offer, so of course the SkyMall catalog throws itself in your hand.  I found quite a few interesting things in there.  So, lets take a little stroll through the highlights!!!!!

#1 —-  ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA!   Yes ladies and gentlemen, they still publish full sets of the encyclopedia.  For those that have never been exposed to the internet, or are not familiar with Google or Wikipedia, they can order a set of these beauties for a mere $1,300.  Amazing.  I don’t even think school libraries have encyclopedias anymore and have shifted to Lexis or some other search engine!!!!!  BUT, HEY…. SKYMALL HAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well folks, if you get the encyclopedias, then you will be doing a lot of research and learning.  You will definitely need a writing utensil to mark down all those important facts right?!  Well, guess what the SkyMall has……

 

 

 

#2   Video Pen!!!!  The “stealthiest way to capture true events” that require discretion.  Well, it may not mark down the notes from the encyclopedias, but this pen sure will help you recall and document some interesting facts!  If you plan to become a spy or blackmailer, then THIS is your item!!!!!  Who would be suspecting of a pen as an undercover recording device?!!!!   Well, the SkyMall sure thought this would be useful!  Be careful what you say now, you never know if that meeting with your boss is being recorded!!!!!!

If you think that pen is pretty fantastic, I bet you will drooling over this next one!

 

 #3 The Ergonomic Beach Lounger.   Yes Ladies (and Gents too I suppose), while we sit around and give ourselves cancer, we might as well do it in a fashion that is most comfortable for our bodies and joints, and allows us to comfortably read while we are getting our backs bronzed.   This is a must have for all those dedicated sunbathers!  No more sitting in uncomfortable positions trying to relax in the sun and catch the rays.  No more missing out on those last few chapters because its time to flip and you can’t find a way to read while still getting an even tan on your back….. Its right here!  And you don’t even have to wait for this!  Express Delivery is available to get you out in the sun as fast as possible without doing further damage to your muscles, joints, bones, etc!!!!!!

 

So we have something educational, something fun, and something good for our bodies…..how about something useful in case of emergency???!!!!!   OH YOU BETTER BELIEVE THEY HAVE THAT TOO!

 

#4  In case you are trapped upstairs when a fire breaks out, the stairs are not an option and you just can’t wait for the local fire department to rescue you…… WHIP OUT YOUR OWN LADDER!!!!!!!  Make your own fire escape!  Fire escapes are no longer for large apartment buildings!!!!  Safety First my friends… Safety First.  A must have for any home higher than ground level!!!!!

 

Oh no, we haven’t forgotten about you folks with children either!

 

#5  Here we go! The Flexible Screen!  No more children running through the house and tearing through that screen and into the yard!  This screen moves with them!  Those little guys aren’t going anywhere!!!!  Even better….watch when you bring them to your neighbors house or friends house and they seen the screen door and go running!  Either you will be buying a new screen, or you will be nursing a head wound as your child get thrown flat on their back!!!!  Either way, this could still be fun! 🙂

 

What about travel?  Do they have anything for travel?!    OH YES THEY DO!   SkyMall wouldn’t have a name without flying the friendly skies!!!!!  So, here’s #6!!!
#6 Sky Rest  –  Ever tried to sleep comfortably on a plane?!!!  There is just no good position.  Every part of your body gets cramped or falls asleep right?  If you don’t have a window seat and are traveling alone, you have the option of putting your head on the shoulder of stranger #1 or stranger #2…. well, the days of crappy in flight sleep are over!   TA-DA!!!!  Check out this piece of work!  Its even inflatable!  Don’t worry, when you get on the plane and blow it up, no one will think you are trying to blow up your seat to use as a flotation device.  They will all be uber jealous of this fantastically awesome sleeping aparatus you have brought aboard!!!!!  VERY CLASSY! 🙂

 

Lastly,  by the time you are done reading the catalog, its only 20 minutes into the flight and you are already suffering from leg cramps, no blood circulation in the feet, your back has a knot because the person next to you has half their body in your seat too, your head aches from last nights cocktails, and your neck is cramped from being bent over reading becasue you can’t put your tray table down yet either….. So, what does the SkyMall decide is the best thing to put at the end of the catalog………

 

#7  THEEE Ultimate BODY Massager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I do not even need to put anything more.  This picture is self explanatory.. While looking like a partial space craft, it still is calling to you to jump in and get a nice little massage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Then you realize you have 3 more hours left on that plane and all you can think about is that damn massage chair!!!!!!!!!!!  Damn SkyMall……. “It is now safe to use electronic devices and the Captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign”
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Christi

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  1. It’s weird, but I’ve always wanted a fire escape ladder. There was never any need for one, though, when I was a kid… we had a one story house. I still don’t need one, since my apartment is on the 1st floor… but as soon as I get a place with more than one floor, I’ll grab a SkyMall. 😀

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