And yet….and yet I wonder……

Yes. Me wondering is a very dangerous thing because my mind, thoughts and ideas can travel to some really really unexpected places. BUT… I wonder, as I have been doing some research on mental illnesses in my recent quest to do some volunteer work (to give me something to do which will get me out of my boyfriend’s hair, and so I can better understand myself), I was looking up some of the different illnesses, and personality disorders was a topic.

Recently I have discovered that two people that I know may have a form of these and after reading all the different types, I think…. DOES ANYBODY NOT fall into one of those categories? I mean, the more and more I read and learn about things from eating disorders, depression, bipolar, personality disorder, etc…. If you took the DSM-IV out and interviewed every single person in your town, or city, or state, or country… I think that every single person would be diagnosed with something from that book. The difference I think, is severity and how the person is able to control it.

So, if you look at it that way….. then really, we are all fucked up, just in varying degrees and there is not one person who can be classified as “normal” and that “normal”  is some made up person that everyone aspires to be and just gets frustrated when they can’t be that “normal” person. It makes psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, psychotherapists, drug companies, insurance companies, hospitals, and whole lot of other people a whole lot of money. Now, I’m not saying that everything is a waste. I have seen first hand examples of people who are very, very, very sick individuals because of their body chemistry and do need to be monitored and have medicine, but what I am saying is that we all strive sooooooo hard to become this “normal”  person and these doctors try to get us to achieve this manifested “normal” that just doesn’t exist. If we can all just become the best person that WE can become, then that should be considered normal.

Ok. just another weird and crazy thought I had and felt I had to share. I’m not saying mental illness doesn’t exist…BECAUSE IT DOES.   It ABSOLUTELY does!!!!!  What I suggest is that NORMAL does not exist. And if everyone fit this mold of “normal”, I would not have met a lot of people that I have and I would not have learned the things I did, experienced the things I have, and found a different part of myself. Nor would I have had the strength to fight for the one man in my life that I truly love and cherish and fight so we could live a peaceful life together. Those people (including my family too) are truly blessed with their own gifts and hopefully they all will discover that one day soon!!


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