Well, here I am. Back to the place that gave me comfort and solace the last time I felt alone. How lovely it is to have a place that is even better than a best friend. Why is this better?
My blog can’t yell back at me!
Sure, all of you who read it can, but not directly at me in person. You can yell at the computer screen all you want, but that only happens AFTER I have spit out everything I have to say and hit the “Publish” button. Even then, with one small keystroke, I can delete whatever it was they had to say if I don’t like it! My blog itself has to listen to the ENTIRE rant, rave, and/or blabbery that I decide to spew out and has no choice but to repeat it to my audience.
It provides me comfort.
While I am now a loner again, it provides me comfort that I can express my feelings whenever I want, it doesn’t matter the day or time, I just open my computer or tablet and pour out whatever feelings are there and they are immediately off my chest. I no longer have to let them fester inside. Diane von Furstenberg said “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” How very true this is!!!
It is there no matter what.
It is now no longer allowable for me to feel insecure about any and all those little silly things I am insecure about. I can just write and complain about them here. Well, not EVERY post is going to contain complaining and whining, but things like those few extra pounds, that one zit that just won’t go away, the fact that I never finished that one JFK book before starting another read, or thing like everyday saying I am going to work out when I get home from work and I never do, feeling horrible and riddled with guilt that I am not doing enough for my friends, that I am not a good enough daughter….etc.
Maybe airing all of this on the blog will finally make it the perfect time to realize that I am doing the best I can and that’s just going to have to be good enough. As long as I stay true to myself and don’t put on a front, then I’m doing alright! Well, as long as I have a place to stay true to myself and get it out of my festering head, I’m going to be ok.
So, time for all you folks to hear the inner thoughts and working of this Bipolar Hot Messes mind and the events of her life as they unfold. I guarantee it will not be boring!