All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

And yet….and yet I wonder……

Yes. Me wondering is a very dangerous thing because my mind, thoughts and ideas can travel to some really really unexpected places. BUT… I wonder, as I have been doing some research on mental illnesses in my recent quest to do some volunteer work (to give me something to do which will get me out of my boyfriend’s hair, and …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Featured, Healthy Life & Relationships

Mood boosters, what’s yours?

When I was in my outpatient therapy after my first hospitalization, the third day I was there, I was called into my assigned counselors office. I was very nervous because I thought I had been making my best effort at participating and working with the group having only been there for just a few days. I sat down, she closed …

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All, Eating Disorders, Healthy Life & Relationships, Physical Health, Self Esteem

A Letter of Self-Love

I  found this on Psych Central in a column called Weightless.  I read this and it actually gave me the idea that I should be doing this too.  I much too often let the bad take over and then forget how much good there really is.  I think a lot of my moods going up and down could also be …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Featured, The Bipolar Hot Mess Fav Things

“…because I had never, ever figured out how to f**king deal.”

– Marya Hornbacher said that in her book Wasted. Why is this part of my “favorite things” series of posts???  Because Marya Horbacher is not only an amazing woman and I have a deep admiration for her, but she is an outstanding writer and even more than that, her first book Wasted may have saved my life.  After reading that …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Featured, Healthy Changes, Healthy Life & Relationships, Physical Health

Weighing In – Recovered or Not

One question I have been thinking about when thinking of eating disorders is, IS THERE FULL RECOVERY?  What is considered full recovery?  I mean, obviously if you have bulimia and stop purging, then you have reached recovery in that respect, but what about anorexia?  If you are not restricting calories, not working out to extremes (or working out at all), …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Self Esteem

I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me……orrrrr not???

For a good majority of my life, I walked around feeling completely and utterly inferior.  Somewhere along the line, I decided that I had to be perfect in order for my mom to love me. SOMETHING I HAD CREATED MYSELF IN MY OWN MIND and I carried that weight around with me for years and years.  While carrying that around, …

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All, Eating Disorders, Healthy Changes, Random Musings, Relationships (Love)

The Elephant In The Room…..or the mouse that feels like the elephant…….

What do you do when someone asks you to do something that is a common day occurance for almost everyone, but for you, is one of the most impossible things to do and they don’t know how almost impossible it is because you are too embarrassed to tell them?  They know there is a reason why you avoid it, but …

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All, Eating Disorders, Humor, Random Musings

Guilty Pleasures

We all have them!  Don’t try to pretend that you don’t!!!!!!  They are those secret things that you totally love and obsess over but are too embarassed to admit them to your friends or significant other because you think they will realize what a true dork you really are.  Well, guess what.  I have decided that today, I am no …

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All, Eating Disorders, Healthy Changes, Physical Health, Self Esteem

Lets Fight!!!!

There are many ways to fight.  There are arguments between people and there are individuals fighting against things.  We fight against illness, we fight against feelings, we fight against our own judgment.  Today, lets fight against our inner demons and lets fight for wellness. Anorexia and Bulimia took over my life for many years.  If I could go back and …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love)

Where I’ve Been…. You sure you want to know?

Having bipolar sucks.  Thats all I have to say.  No matter how much you try to pretend it isn’t there because you are taking your meds and doing all you can to maintain stability.  There is always something that creeps up and literally beats you over the head and rips out your insides to the point it makes you crazy. …

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