Dear Baby….

Dear Baby, I’m writing this to you To tell you all the things I feel And  at times forget to do My sweetheart, you take my breath away Your kindness, and your honesty I fall in love some more each… Continue Reading

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That same haunting question…

It has become a theme as I read through old journals and poems and pages of notes I’ve scribbled through the years. That same thing I believe many of us with any kind of illness constantly asks ourselves. What did… Continue Reading

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A blast from the past…

Another trip through the Bipolar Hot Mess Archives….. So, I have been going through journals and re-reading poems that I have written, trying to piece back together what happened and what I was feeling prior to and while I was… Continue Reading

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A Day In the Life of A Bipolar in Therapy

This is a direct entry from my journal.  Sometimes I have to look back to see how far I have come and to remind myself where I DON’T want to go…… September 16, 2006 I spent the day with MSA… Continue Reading

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Feelings or Numb

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I… Continue Reading

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More Excerpts from the Bipolar Hot Mess Journals……

…do you ever think that your life is meaningless?  And everything you have worked to achieve is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and if it took almost years to accomplish this then all the things I want… Continue Reading

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The Big Fall

There once was a girl who had it all But when she had it all thought she had nothing Time passed on and older she grew She met a man, fell in love, and thought she was something Things changed… Continue Reading

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The End of Us

Who knew that after being one of the very few people standing in your court, backing you up when everyone else is running away from you like you are the one in flames standing in a barn full of hay,… Continue Reading

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Love, Emotions, I hate feeling emotions… Excerpts from the Bipolar Hot Mess Diary

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?  Love is such a weird emotion to me. I hate the fact that my mind and body have the… Continue Reading

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