Hot Mess Gets Her Shit Together

Having such a public lifestyle, and yes, I knew that when I started this, I get a lot of opinions, suggestions, and advice on where I should go from here with my life and my blog and my love life.  You name it, I get the advice. Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate ALL the advice and suggestions and opinions from everyone. I truly do. That said, many of you know all the struggles… Continue Reading

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Why do I keep everything buried inside?

Someone asked me the other day why I keep everything inside. They wanted to know why I don’t talk to anyone about anything that is bothering me and let it all keep building up in there. There are a million reasons why people keep things tucked away, far down below where no one can see it or come close to accessing it. When you do ask, you will probably get a plethora of different answers.… Continue Reading

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They are Here! Bipolar Hot Mess T-Shirts

A great big shout out to AIR-WEAR Recovery for working so hard to make them look so AHHMAZING!  Each shirt can be personalized so you can pick your color  and style and then the logo you want as well!  Also, for each shirt purchased, a donation will be made to the Bipolar Hot Mess website.  Now, check out these awesome tees and snatch yours up ASAP! I’m so excited about this!  I’ve been wanting to… Continue Reading

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Where’s the lowest low on the bipolar coaster?

Wouldn’t all of us with bipolar like to know the answer to THAT!! The problem is, the joke’s on US! There IS NO ANSWER to that question! What do I mean there’s no answer? Well, we first have to start off with a few facts. Bipolar has varying severities  (i.e. BP I, BP II, etc.) The HIGHS experienced in bipolar are either: full blown mania in Bipolar I (the most extreme because it can cause… Continue Reading

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That same haunting question…

It has become a theme as I read through old journals and poems and pages of notes I’ve scribbled through the years. That same thing I believe many of us with any kind of illness constantly asks ourselves. What did I do wrong that caused me to get this? I have one journal entry where I write: I have always tried to be nothing but nice and do the right thing, and 20 years later… Continue Reading

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How do you rise after the “Big Crash”?

You wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and staring back is remnants of 4 years of ups and downs, job loss, lost loves, lost friendships, not to mention the wear and tear of countless different medication combinations; fear as you look around your room, in your parents house.  That THIS is what you let yourself become after you swore to yourself after your first hospital visit in 2006, when you were diagnosed, that… Continue Reading

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Why I Hate Hollywood……yet can’t stay away *sigh*

They are liars.  Yes folks.  They lie there.  They make these movies and make these characters that are just too perfect.  Then, we watch these movies and when our life doesn’t compare to the perfection in their movies, we are miserable.  Hollywood makes us miserable because we are trying to attain the illusions they put in front of us.  Thats all they are!  Illusions.  The movies are supposed to make us feel good, supposed to… Continue Reading

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Bipolar Brain Block to Cell Block

No matter how much I try, or how many writing prompts or exercises I try, I just can’t seem to write these days. A lot of people suggest to, “write what you know.”  Well, sometimes what I know just gets kind of boring.  It feels redundant.  How many posts can I write about what I’m feeling like today, or what the symptoms of bipolar disorder are, or life with eating disorders is like.  I’m sure… Continue Reading

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Adventures in the Psych Ward

I was reading the book Manic, by Terri Cheney and I got to a part in her story where she is describing a visit to a psych facility.  Ms. Cheney was describing it with such vividness, it brought me back to 10 years ago; the first group of my hospital visits .(I’ve had 3 of them, 2 were within a 3 months period and the last one was about 7 years later at a different… Continue Reading

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Barbie can have a brain too!

There was a very big stereotype that Barbie, you know, the perfectly figured blonde haired beauty was just that, outter beauty. She wasn’t known for being smart or intellectual. Every girl not only wanted a Barbie doll, but they wanted to be Barbie. Why? Well, who wouldn’t? Barbie had this incredible “dream home” a silver corvette, a gorgeous boyfriend named Ken, not to mention all the fabulous clothes and accessories. Her plastic world looked so… Continue Reading

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