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The Anger, the pain, why is this happening all over again?

Because you are a stupid girl. You never learn. You were hurt. It hurt so bad that you never thought you would recover.  But you did.  You not only recovered, but you fell in love again. Stupid you. Giving your heart up so fast. Stupid you.  Thinking someone understood you.  Stupid you. Believing when they said they would not give…

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All, Emotional Change, Featured, Healthy Changes, Healthy Life & Relationships, Physical Health, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love), Self Esteem

Bringing in the New Year Hot Mess style!

Every year at this time, December 31, we have the tradition of making New Years Resolutions.  You know, things we want to do in this new year to better ourselves, like working out more.  So for the first few weeks of January, the gyms are all packed to the max, then as February rolls in, the crowd starts dwindling, and…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Random Musings, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love)

Disguise and lies????

Honestly.  Do I really think that changing my hair color is going to help me begin a new transformation? Probably not.  It’s more like I am putting on a disguise and lying to myself and everyone else that this Christi with a fresh new hair do is really as changed and transformed on the inside as she is on the…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Change, Featured, Random Musings

From Witty………to Shitty…….

another unpublished post I dug up from the archives (this cleaning stuff has really benefited in more ways than one): Yes folks. I have gone from coming up with endless amounts of witty comments and diatribes, to thinking nothing but shitty things. What could cause such a drastic turn in one’s brain you ask?! Well, the other part of being…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Healthy Changes

****The Bipolar Hot Mess Seeks Personal Assistant!!!***

This person will be not just motivated, but MOTIVATIONAL, energetic, and patient.  They must be able to communicate well with others and be able to give step by step instructions if needed.  Should be punctual, but job may require long hours sometimes.  Must be able to keep calm in a crisis.  Knowledge of bipolar disorder is helpful. Also helpful if…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Healthy Changes, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

Oh NO! It’s The Dreaded First Day!!!!!

First day of what????  Well, for some of you, its the first day of school.  Others, maybe you are starting a new job.  Whatever the case is, anxiety runs rampant on these days. There are many issues that people face on their first day, and even after times goes on, like bullying.  Bullying is no longer just an issue that…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Humor, Relationships (Love)

What Can Cure the Blackest Soul?

Just when I thought that I felt as miserable as I could feel, yesterday came and made me feel a million times worse. I crumbled to pieces as I sat there and listened to misrepresentation galore and a collection of preposterous self-made theories being passed off as truths poured out like Kool-Aid into a child’s glass on a hot summer…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Featured, The Bipolar Hot Mess Fav Things

“…because I had never, ever figured out how to f**king deal.”

– Marya Hornbacher said that in her book Wasted. Why is this part of my “favorite things” series of posts???  Because Marya Horbacher is not only an amazing woman and I have a deep admiration for her, but she is an outstanding writer and even more than that, her first book Wasted may have saved my life.  After reading that…

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All, Featured, Humor, Random Musings, Relationships (Love)

Little Girl with Fairytale Dreams

  Girls, do you remember when you were little, (and by little I mean toddler to grade school and maybe even later, who knows…) and you would have all your daydreams and fantasies that you would act out with your barbies.  Some you might even act out yourself and play dress up.  In those fantasies you were this beautiful princess…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, The Bipolar Hot Mess Fav Things

Holy S**t!!!! A HERO??!!!!!

Well, today was quite an amazing day.  While I did know that I had been nominated for this (I had to provide my bio and pic ahead of time) seeing it actually posted on the Psych Central website and all over the internet has left me completely awestruck.  I mean, here I was, almost 16 months ago, at ground zero,…

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