Barbie can have a brain too!

There was a very big stereotype that Barbie, you know, the perfectly figured blonde haired beauty was just that, outter beauty. She wasn’t known for being smart or intellectual. Every girl not only wanted a Barbie doll, but they wanted to be Barbie. Why? Well, who wouldn’t? Barbie had this incredible “dream home” a silver corvette, a gorgeous boyfriend named Ken, not to mention all the fabulous clothes and accessories. Her plastic world looked so […]

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Another birthday creeping up…

Another year farther away from what my life used to be.  That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.  This year, I want to make this a birthday to remember, but I want to remember it the way my new life is; not how life used to be. What did life used to be? (I’m going to use different names to protect the privacy of those […]

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Paintbrush

I keep my paintbrush with me Wherever I may go In case I need to cover up So the real me doesn’t show I’m so afraid to show you me Afraid of what you’ll do That you might laugh or say mean things I’m afraid I might lose you. I’d like to remove all my paint coats To show you the real, true me, But I want you to try and understand I need you […]

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How Many Times Can You Pull The “Med Change” card?

Having a mental illness usually means we have tried a medication or two, or two hundred. We all have different reactions to medications  as well. Some medications may help us, but some medications can end up with the unfortunate side effects that are worse than the effects you experience due to your illness and are trying to subdo.  Typically when that happens, you and your doctor will sit down and discuss another alternative to try […]

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Feelings or Numb

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset. I hate being annoyed. I hate loving someone. I hate it because I always love that person too much. I always love the person like 100 times more […]

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Sometimes traditional therapy just doesn’t cut it!

Lets face it.  Having bipolar disorder can give us some symptoms that are really, really hard to control, like trouble with our spending habits.  Not all of us face it, but a lot do.  Some call it spending sprees, others refer to it as retail therapy.  Whatever your pleasure, its still the same.  Mine used to be going on my lunch break and walking around the stores, gathering all the things that I thought I […]

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It’s Just An Excuse. The Hot Mess Responds

Yesterday, on the Bipolar Hot Mess Facebook page, there were some comments that were not so nice.  And I’m not talking about just one comment, but many, which left me feeling really conflicted because what I had hoped would be a more educational thread turned into something very far from that. The original comments said that mental illness is just an excuse and that we need to “get over ourselves.” Being a mental health blogger […]

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Is the Hot Mess REALLY a Mess?

“I’m a mess!” When I first began talking to CJ, I warned him. I told him that I was a mess, a walking disaster, and if it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all. He didn’t believe me. I picked him up from the airport for the first time. Between baggage claim at O’Hare and my car in the parking garage ready to head off, I think “we” (meaning me) lost […]

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A World Outside of You

You walk along with your head so high And runaway when you see me cry You can’t see anything outside of you Because in your world, #1 only walks in your shoes There’s a whole world just open your eyes People in your life are hurting, thats no surprise Get out of your head, this isn’t a dream Everyone around you is breaking, hear them scream? No you don’t hear the screams, do you want […]

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This site is more than just my own rants

This website is far more than just a platform for me to bitch, whine, complain, and publicly rant and rave about my life, my illnesses, injustices, and my own personal causes. Sure, this site did start off as me just posting my random thoughts on completely random things, like public transportation, office dramas, Hollywood catastrophes and celebrity mishaps, and just some plain old funny things that happen to me daily (I’ve always said if it […]

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