All, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Random Musings, Relationships (Love)

Every Night I Am Afraid….

Yes. I am afraid. Its bedtime and this is the time I always become afraid. I begin to panic and cry because I am afraid that he is going to forget me. That he is going to forget how much he loves me, forget what it feels like to love me, forget what it looks like to love me, forget …

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Criminal Justice and Legal Field, Featured, Random Musings, Treatment

Bipolar Brain Block to Cell Block

No matter how much I try, or how many writing prompts or exercises I try, I just can’t seem to write these days. A lot of people suggest to, “write what you know.”  Well, sometimes what I know just gets kind of boring.  It feels redundant.  How many posts can I write about what I’m feeling like today, or what …

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All, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

So, What Do You Do For A Living?

Whenever I am invited to attend an event, or even just go out in public, there is a certain rush of anxiety that washes over me that remains there all the way not just until the day of the event or outing but lasting all through it as well.  What could possibly be so daunting for me? I mean, I …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Featured, Random Musings

They are Here! Bipolar Hot Mess T-Shirts

A great big shout out to AIR-WEAR Recovery for working so hard to make them look so AHHMAZING!  Each shirt can be personalized so you can pick your color  and style and then the logo you want as well!  Also, for each shirt purchased, a donation will be made to the Bipolar Hot Mess website.  Now, check out these awesome …

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Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Diary, Pre Diagnosis, Random Musings, Relationships (Love)

Feelings or Numb

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset. I hate being annoyed. I hate loving someone. I hate it because I …

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All, Archived, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Coping Techniques, Family & Friends (Advice)

Fake A** Peeps … Letting Go of “Dead Weight” .. another step toward moving on

I think we all encounter a few types of people in our lives that fit into some specific categories that if not handled the right way, can really affect our lives in a negative way. However, what type of person WE are and how we handle each type of person, makes a huge difference. It can make or break a …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Criminal Justice and Legal Field, Featured

Another anniversary. Do you celebrate this one?

Anniversaries are intended to be dates that you remember and commemorate because it is some type of a milestone. There are wedding anniversaries, anniversaries of the date you were hired at your place of employment, anniversaries of sobriety dates, I think you get the point. But today, today is an anniversary that I’m very conflicted about. There are many reasons …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Criminal Justice and Legal Field, Featured

Why a mental health advocate cares about crime, justice, prisons, prosecutors and laws

Some of you have known me for many years as friends, relatives, colleagues, or just through my writing and advocacy work on other sites, and I thank you so much for still supporting me and following my journey! Many are just starting to get to know me, The Bipolar Hot Mess, as a blogger, an advocate, and slowly as a …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Random Musings

What Do YOU Want To Hear About?

This website is not just mine, or a place where I dump out all my feelings. This is also a place where I want those of you who read my posts to be able to look at some of these posts and find either the answers you might be looking for, or things that you can relate to that may …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

And yet….and yet I wonder……

Yes. Me wondering is a very dangerous thing because my mind, thoughts and ideas can travel to some really really unexpected places. BUT… I wonder, as I have been doing some research on mental illnesses in my recent quest to do some volunteer work (to give me something to do which will get me out of my boyfriend’s hair, and …

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