Bipolar Brain Block to Cell Block

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No matter how much I try, or how many writing prompts or exercises I try, I just can’t seem to write these days. A lot of people suggest to, “write what you know.”  Well, sometimes what I know just gets kind of boring.  It feels redundant.  How many posts can I write about what I’m […]

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They are Here! Bipolar Hot Mess T-Shirts

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A great big shout out to AIR-WEAR Recovery for working so hard to make them look so AHHMAZING!  Each shirt can be personalized so you can pick your color  and style and then the logo you want as well!  Also, for each shirt purchased, a donation will be made to the Bipolar Hot Mess website. […]

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Is one type of pain better than another?

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Is physical pain better or worse than emotional pain? More like, is CHRONIC physical pain worse than emotional pain? The answer?  Neither is better or worse than the other.  Emotional pain, while it begins mentally, it can absolutely cause physical pain too.  Chronic pain? It starts in episodes, then it just kinda settles in, unpacks […]

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My Friend ED.. aka eating disorder

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Friend.  HA!  Isn’t that a joke. ED wants you to think he’s your friend, but does a friend slowly suck the life out of you and consume your ever waking (and even sleeping) moment with obsession and self loathing?  Hmmm. Actually… Just Kidding.  I wouldn’t call that a friend!  And yet, no matter how hard […]

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The Day I Wanted A Dog Castle For Prince

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I almost forgot about this, until this morning.  I woke up with ideas flooding my brain and after watching The Black Swan, I went back to my never gets old regret that I never continued ballet.  So, I text my cousin (she works overnights at the air force base, so I knew she was up) […]

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Why I Hate Hollywood……yet can’t stay away *sigh*

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They are liars.  Yes folks.  They lie there.  They make these movies and make these characters that are just too perfect.  Then, we watch these movies and when our life doesn’t compare to the perfection in their movies, we are miserable.  Hollywood makes us miserable because we are trying to attain the illusions they put […]

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Every Night I Am Afraid

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Yes. I am afraid. It’s bedtime and I’m terrified. This is the time I always become the most afraid. I lay in bed while I begin to panic and cry because I am afraid that he is going to forget me. That he is going to forget how much he loves me, forget what it feels […]

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So, What Do You Do For A Living?

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Whenever I am invited to attend an event, or even just go out in public, there is a certain rush of anxiety that washes over me that remains there all the way not just until the day of the event or outing but lasting all through it as well.  What could possibly be so daunting […]

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Feelings or Numb

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(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset. I hate being annoyed. I hate loving someone. […]

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Fake A** Peeps … Letting Go of “Dead Weight” .. another step toward moving on

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I think we all encounter a few types of people in our lives that fit into some specific categories that if not handled the right way, can really affect our lives in a negative way. However, what type of person WE are and how we handle each type of person, makes a huge difference. It […]

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