Another anniversary. Do you celebrate this one?

Anniversaries, milestones established and remembered because they have some type of significant meaning. There are wedding anniversaries, anniversaries with your place of employment, anniversaries of sobriety dates, I think you get the point. But today, today is an anniversary that I’m very conflicted about. There are many reasons to be happy and celebrate it, on the other hand, there are reasons why I harbor some ill feeling toward this day in particular. That said, I… Continue Reading

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Why a mental health advocate cares about crime, justice, prisons, prosecutors and laws

Some of you have known me for many years as friends, relatives, colleagues, or just through my writing and advocacy work on other sites, and I thank you so much for still supporting me and following my journey! Many are just starting to get to know me, The Bipolar Hot Mess, as a blogger, an advocate, and slowly as a person through what I reveal to you all in my posts and such. In the… Continue Reading

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What Do YOU Want To Hear About?

This website is not just mine, or a place where I dump out all my feelings. This is also a place where I want those of you who read my posts to be able to look at some of these posts and find either the answers you might be looking for, or things that you can relate to that may make a difficult situation a bit easier for you. Heck, I would love to write… Continue Reading

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And yet….and yet I wonder……

Yes. Me wondering is a very dangerous thing because my mind, thoughts and ideas can travel to some really really unexpected places. BUT… I wonder, as I have been doing some research on mental illnesses in my recent quest to do some volunteer work (to give me something to do which will get me out of my boyfriend’s hair, and so I can better understand myself), I was looking up some of the different illnesses,… Continue Reading

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For real? How the news can turn us all into recluses.

Is this for real?! My god. I feel like it’s time to lock ourselves inside our houses, barricade our doors, and take cover in our “panic rooms” or “fallout shelters”. Apparently the “land of the free” now means “run around freely and act like assholes.” But hey, let’s open up the borders and let more people come run around freely acting like assholes while the rest of us, who aren’t behaving like hooligans, just trying… Continue Reading

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Call Me Old Fashioned….

Or, call me crazy (wait, I have bipolar so stigma may already label me that) BUT I look around at the world today, the world where my friend’s children, nieces and nephews, are living in, and I see a completely different world than I grew up in.  Some of it is good, but some of it is truly scary and sad and I wonder where, when, how it came to be this way.  School shootings,… Continue Reading

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Am I Here or There? Or Anywhere?

Wow! I’m writing! Yes, I’ve shocked myself too. It’s been awhile since I have been able to write, well, write consistently that is.  Don’t be fooled though. This isn’t a guarantee that I’m on a writing streak.  But, as they say, something is better than nothing. So here I am. But where is “here” exactly? I mean, I’m still on disability. Since that day that I walked into my office manager’s office, note in hand… Continue Reading

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The Giving Tree

You think everything is going ok.  Laughing, smiling, learning each other’s schedules, finding out when they need a hug and when they need their space, and talking…communicating….about everything (or you thought everything).  Finally, for the first time in over a year, you feel stronger.  The past no longer makes your stomach turn and tears form in your eyes.  You don’t get sad and defeated.  There is someone who finally, after 8+ years, tells you that… Continue Reading

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A look into the past

Its been a long time since I have been able to write.  Maybe its writers block, maybe it’s lack of inspiration, maybe my inability to focus, who knows, but what I do know that it has been really hard to just sit down and write.  Everyone says just write “anything” but it truly is not as easy as that. Since purchasing my iPad, I very rarely open up my laptop anymore because almost everything I… Continue Reading

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“It Will Get Better!” LIARS!!!!!

People try to encourage you and tell you that things will get better. “Once the divorce is finalized, it will get better,” “Once you get over him, it will get better,”  “Once you get approved for disability, things will get better,” they said. REALLY? Because my divorce is finalized, I got over HIM, and I got approved for disability and things just seem to continue to keep crashing downhill.  You think you hit rock bottom,… Continue Reading

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