All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

And yet….and yet I wonder……

Yes. Me wondering is a very dangerous thing because my mind, thoughts and ideas can travel to some really really unexpected places. BUT… I wonder, as I have been doing some research on mental illnesses in my recent quest to do some volunteer work (to give me something to do which will get me out of my boyfriend’s hair, and …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Healthy Changes, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

For real? How the news can turn us all into recluses.

Is this for real?! My god. I feel like it’s time to lock ourselves inside our houses, barricade our doors, and take cover in our “panic rooms” or “fallout shelters”. Apparently the “land of the free” now means “run around freely and act like assholes.” But hey, let’s open up the borders and let more people come run around freely …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Physical Health, Random Musings

Is one type of pain better than another?

Is physical pain better or worse than emotional pain? More like, is CHRONIC physical pain worse than emotional pain? The answer?  Neither is better or worse than the other.  Emotional pain, while it begins mentally, it can absolutely cause physical pain too.  Chronic pain? It starts in episodes, then it just kinda settles in, unpacks it’s bags and puts it’s …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Pain, Healthy Life & Relationships, Mental Health and Chronic Pain, Random Musings

Call Me Old Fashioned….

Or, call me crazy (wait, I have bipolar so stigma may already label me that) BUT I look around at the world today, the world where my friend’s children, nieces and nephews, are living in, and I see a completely different world than I grew up in.  Some of it is good, but some of it is truly scary and …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Change, Random Musings, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love)

The Giving Tree

You think everything is going ok.  Laughing, smiling, learning each other’s schedules, finding out when they need a hug and when they need their space, and talking…communicating….about everything (or you thought everything).  Finally, for the first time in over a year, you feel stronger.  The past no longer makes your stomach turn and tears form in your eyes.  You don’t …

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All, Random Musings

A look into the past

Its been a long time since I have been able to write.  Maybe its writers block, maybe it’s lack of inspiration, maybe my inability to focus, who knows, but what I do know that it has been really hard to just sit down and write.  Everyone says just write “anything” but it truly is not as easy as that. Since …

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All, Archived, Emotional Change, Healthy Life & Relationships, Physical Health

“It Will Get Better!” LIARS!!!!!

People try to encourage you and tell you that things will get better. “Once the divorce is finalized, it will get better,” “Once you get over him, it will get better,”  “Once you get approved for disability, things will get better,” they said. REALLY? Because my divorce is finalized, I got over HIM, and I got approved for disability and …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Random Musings

Possessions. What do they really mean?

As I have been going through my closet lately and pulling out the things that I am selling to help supplement my income, I have found out a lot about my views on possessions.  Many say that possessions are just that and nothing more.  To me, my possessions are not just things, but memories.  Each article of clothing has a …

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All, Archived, Featured

The Anger, the pain, why is this happening all over again?

Because you are a stupid girl. You never learn. You were hurt. It hurt so bad that you never thought you would recover.  But you did.  You not only recovered, but you fell in love again. Stupid you. Giving your heart up so fast. Stupid you.  Thinking someone understood you.  Stupid you. Believing when they said they would not give …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Random Musings, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love)

Disguise and lies????

Honestly.  Do I really think that changing my hair color is going to help me begin a new transformation? Probably not.  It’s more like I am putting on a disguise and lying to myself and everyone else that this Christi with a fresh new hair do is really as changed and transformed on the inside as she is on the …

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