All, Bipolar Disorder, Random Musings

Concentrate, Concentrate, Concen…Huh?!

I can’t concentrate or focus anymore. At all. I have about 8,000 projects that have to be done, and nothing ever gets completed because I can’t focus on it long enough to finish it. Its especially apparent at work!!!! I can’t read more than 10 pages of a transcript before I want to shoot myself in the head. Is it anxiety? I’m on meds for that. Is it ADD or ADHD? On meds for that too. So then WHY CAN’T I FOCUS and concentrate on anything??!!! I always feel like when I am in one place, I should be in another working on one of my gazillion projects. So then I am completely distracted and I don’t even enjoy my time. Or I feel guilty when I am away from either the office or my house because I feel like I am wasting time and there are a million things I could be doing instead. BUT, when I am at my house, am I doing them??? No. Well, kinda. I start it, but then get distracted, so in reality, I make no progress. And its affecting my work terribly. I cant finish the tasks that are given to me and its soooooo frustrating because I used to be able to do this!!!! I used to be able to be a decent paralegal. And now I can’t!!! I can’t even function like a normal person anymore!!! How do I grab hold of this and just do it. Just focus?!!! HELP!!!

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