From the Hot Mess Archives!
Yippie! I am FINALLY graduating on March 20! I am so glad and feel such a sense of accomplishment. However, I am still sad. My parents, bro and sis are going to be there, which is awesome, but there is one person that I want to be there, that isn’t. They have to work. Its disappointing because I want that person to share the excitement of how far I have come. I don’t think they know how important that day is to me, and I am afraid to tell them because I know what is going to happen. And, it didn’t bother me much because I knew why he couldn’t and understood. But, now I find out its not what it was, and is just another trip with a friend instead of a trip with family and it makes me sad. It really truly does. 6 months ago, I would have been pissed off, would have yelled and screamed and thrown a tantrum. At least now, I can accept it, cry for a few minutes by myself and move on from it. But, even though I can move on from it, it doesn’t replace the fact that I am sad and disappointed.
Sometimes you can do all the right things, but it still isn’t enough. You have to accept that you are not perfect and you have to love you for who you are. I finally realize that I love myself for who I am. I make changes everyday and work hard to keep myself healthy and on the right track. I still have flaws, (which I am working on), but its ok. I’m ok with that. For once in my life, I am ok and happy with being me. And nothing can ever change that.
And although I am sad and truly disappointed, I won’t let that ruin that day! because out of it all, I have repaired many relationships and I am happy that my mom finally (after about 26 years) has told me that she is proud of me, and she wants to be at my graduation. So, I am happy about that. I have 2 philosophies…. when life gives you lemons, make lemonade…… and when life gives you lemons…USE THEM TO SQUIRT LEMON JUICE INTO THE EYES OF YOUR ENEMIES! 🙂 well, enough about that. Somethings will never change.