Ahhh! Here I am. Wait!
*looks quickly left, then right*
Where am I? Who’s couch have I invaded today?! *sigh*
After almost 8 years of being on my own in college, on my own with my dream job in the city, then married, I have hit the proverbial “rock bottom.” I filed for divorce so I’m back to living at Mom and Dad’s, on disability for my bipolar after a major breakdown in 2012, then I herniated a disc in my spine that I had surgery on but the aftermath these past few years after the surgery have been almost as painful. And then there is waking up each day trying to stabilize my bipolar disorder so that I can somehow try to get myself back into the workforce, you know, ideally back to where I was before all hell broke loose and my life crumbled to bits and pieces, but I’ll take even just one of those resolutions, and any more than that will be like hitting the jackpot!
Yes, life left me trapped in a pile of rubble frantically trying to dig myself out stone by stone, WHICH is not a pretty sight I might add! BUT, I’m determined to pull this “Bipolar Hot Mess” back together. I will make my grand comeback as an even stronger version of myself who will be taking life by it’s reigns and conquering everything thrown my way.
*pictures herself in black tutu with pink and silver glitter, a black and silver sword with glitter trailing it’s every stroke while she stands on top of a mountain.*
*snaps back to reality*
Well, attacking those challenges in my own drama packed, glitter filled, temper tantrum riddled fashion, of course! I dream big! There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, if we don’t dream big, we have nothing to continually strive for. I feel that we always have to have something to strive for because that is the only way that we can better ourselves everyday, and one way we can do our best to keep ourselves stable. And yes, of course, I have visions of pink capes and unicorns leading me to the top!!!
*pinches herself to snap back to reality again*
I’m very determined to get myself and my life back to the top, and in the process of self reinvention, I can guarantee it’s definitely going to be an interesting ride. With my magnetic force that sucks out drama from every direction, my incredible “If it wasn’t for bad luck I would have no luck at all” streak (ok, maybe more than a streak, maybe more like a liefetime) of permanent bad luck, and my sparkling personality, this ride is going to be quite entertaining folks, and THIS is where I am going to chronicle it.
I can guarantee many adventures as there is never a dull moment in my life. And YES, I will rant a bit and maybe some gloating on occasion since it is so infrequent AND it IS my page after all.
This blog will contain things from the past, the present, and I will talk about my future. I am documenting MY life and MY experiences with my diagnosis of bipolar II disorder.
My life does not revolve around my mental illness. So while a lot of events happen as a result of it or are linked to my mental health and medical issues, I am here to show you that I struggle just as much as anyone does. I’m here to show you examples of my daily life and things that trigger me, how I handle them, things that make me laugh, things that make me cry, and just in general how having a mental illness may set you back, but doesn’t have to keep you knocked down.
I will post information on bipolar disorder, eating disorders, and chronic pain (my daily struggles), but I will also discuss other mental health conditions as well since bipolar disorder is comorbid with so many other mental illnesses. I will do my best to give you as much education as I can about whatever issues you guys want to know about.
Above all, my hope is that through documenting my crash and my journey up, many of you can relate to at least some parts of the journey as well, so when I finally reach the top, I won’t be alone up there! Hopefully a bunch of you will be there with me 🙂
So…. enough babble.
WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF THE BIPOLAR HOT MESS.
Its going to be a bumpy ride, so if you have your seat belts fastened and are ready to go, then sit back, keep your eyes on the screen, and click here to begin……………….
Enjoy the ride!
Have questions? Want to put your two cents in? You can contact me by emailing me directly at