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Welcome to The Musings of The Bipolar Hot Mess


Ahhhhhhhhh.  Here I am. Wait! *looks quickly left, then right* Where am I? Who’s couch have I invaded today?!  After almost 8 years of being on my own and married, I’m back to living at Mom and Dad’s, divorced, on disability, with herniated spine discs, and waking up each day trying to stabilize my bipolar disorder (AGAIN!), while somehow trying to get myself back into the workforce, to somehow get back to where I was before all hell broke loose and my life crumbled to bits and pieces.

Yes, life left me trapped in a pile of rubble frantically digging myself out stone by stone, WHICH is not a pretty sight I might add!  BUT,  I’m determined to pull this “Bipolar Hot Mess” back together. I will make my grand comeback as an even stronger version of myself who will be taking life by it’s reigns and conquering everything thrown my way.

*pictures herself in black tutu with pink and silver glitter, a black and silver sword with glitter trailing it’s every stroke while she stands on top of a mountain.* *snaps back to reality*

Well, in my own drama packed, glitter filled, temper tantrum riddled fashion, of course! I dream big ok?!  There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, if we don’t dream big, we have nothing to continually strive for. I feel that we always have to have something to strive for because that is the only way that we will better ourselves everyday.  It’s the only way we can do our best to keep ourselves stable. And yes, I have visions of pink capes and unicorns leading me to the top!!!

*pinches herself to snap back to reality again*

Oh yes, I’m determined to get back to the top, and I can guarantee it’s definitely going to be an interesting ride. With my magnetic force attracting drama from every direction, my streak (ok, maybe more than a streak, maybe more like a few decades) of permanent bad luck, and my sparkling personality, the ride is going to be quite entertaining folks, and THIS is where I am going to chronicle it.

I can guarantee many adventures in my daily comings and goings.  There is never a dull moment in my life.  YES, I will rant a bit and gloating will be involved too (it IS myyyy page after all).

This blog will contain things from the past, the present, and I will talk about my future.  I am documenting  MY life and MY experiences with my diagnosis of bipolar II disorder.

My life does not revolve around my mental illness though, so while a lot of events happen as a result of it, I am here to show you that I struggle just as much as anyone does.  I’m here to show you daily life and things that trigger me, how I handle them, things that make me laugh, things that make me cry, and just in general how having a mental illness may set you back, but doesn’t have to keep you knocked down.


I will post information on bipolar disorder and eating disorders (my daily struggles), as well as other mental illnesses since bipolar disorder is comorbid with so many other mental illnesses.  I will try to give you as much education as I can about whatever issues you guys want to know about.  I’m hoping that through documenting my crash and my journey up, many of you can relate to parts of it as well so when I reach the top, I won’t be alone up there!  Hopefully a bunch of you will be there with me 🙂

So…. enough babble.


Its going to be a bumpy ride, so if you have your seat belts fastened and are ready to go, then sit back, keep your eyes on the screen, and click here to begin……………….

Enjoy the ride!

Have questions?  Want to put your two cents in?  You can email me at bipolarhotmess@gmail.com. 

I do not own the rights to this graphic. Rights go to the owner.
I do not own the rights to this graphic. Rights go to the owner.


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Your Thoughts and Comments


  1. Wes

    Glad that I found you. Just starting to research more (as I didn’t believe in my first diagnosis a year ago) and then when on nearly 6 moths of the ‘greatest’ manic episodes of my life, and threw away another job/gf/friends. I’m 31, and in a similar place right now, and glad to have some company. Amazing how many times I was doing well, and ended up back at Mom and Dad’s. Had it all, and then depressed more than before. Repeat. Story of a Bipolar. Didn’t know until I started reading stories like yours. Thank you for sharing, truly helps 🙂

    1. Thank you for reading. My goal was to make sure that others who had bipolar wouldn’t feel alone and so I’m glad that this website is doing what I set out for it to do!

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