There have been times that I will admit to have done some pretty stupid things.  I may have said some mean or hurtful things about someone or to someone during a fight but always apologized and let that person know I never truly meant them.  When I found out I had bipolar, I wanted to help as many people as I could. Not many people I knew were familiar with it, so I tried to get to know others who did. Yet, despite my good intentions, and all the good things I may have done to help friends and others, I always seem to find myself screwed over, alone, and the ones I helped are happy and living life as they want it.

I keep asking myself what I have done wrong that caused me to always be on the raw end of the stick, but I can’t seem to find the answers.  I try to do things differently every time and none of that makes a difference.  So, when is it going to be my turn?  More like IS it going to be my turn?  When am I going to finally find the RIGHT things to say or the RIGHT things to do at the RIGHT times. I know that at some point, logistically, they are going to line up, but when?

Does anyone else feel this way too?

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