Dear Mr. Itstime Tomoveon,

Dear Mr. Itstime Tomoveon,

I regret to inform you that it really is not a good idea to call someone 10 years after they have broken up with you to ask if they are still mad at you; especially when upon said break up, you stalked them for months and months and made their life so incredibly unpleasant they moved miles away without a forwarding address to get some peace.

To be quite honest, I’m very sure that she has moved on with her life and while may still remember your name and a few memories (some good some bad) and she is not the type of person to hold a grudge, she may not be too spectacularly happy to hear from you, or even speak to you.

After her regrettable decision to speak with you, and upon that conversations end, her statement that she will call you back and then, SURPRISE, she does not; it should have given you an additional clue that she probably is not at a point in her life where she is ready, or even ever, wants to deal with all of the drama that seems to continually present itself when you appear in her life. General Hospital and Days of Our Lives have less drama combined on a daily basis.

Now Mr. Itstime Tomoveon, it’s one thing to call to say “Hey…it’s been a while, let’s catch up on stuff,” and want to discuss things like business ventures, family, and other exciting things going on in your life since the last time you were together, and then ask about hers and play a little friendly “catch up.” It’s quite another to want to just dive right in and reminice about the past, and by past I mean OUR RELATIONSHIP 10 years ago past, and ask questions like, “Didn’t you have any good times with me? Didn’t I make you happy at all?”

Then, why would you stop there, despite the discomfort expressed by her in discussing the topic? You find it necessary to continue on to profess to now being an expert at psychology and lecture her on her new apparent “anger issues” (I wonder if any of them have to do with out of the blue phone calls wanting to discuss uncomfortable topics from someone?). Further still, not stopping the “monologue” this has become, you continue on to tell her how to express the anger and tell her why her doctors are idiots, and babble on and on AND ON with the new textbook jargon you just memorized, to thankfully get to the final and grand conclusion about some Freudian theory.

Seriously sir.

Do you honestly think there will be additional phone calls?

After all she has experienced in the past few years, and that is going on in her life right now?  (had you taken the time to ask the “normal” questions and not want to relive something from a decade ago)  I think would discover that she knows a little more than your Psych101 class has taught you (which you recited for her word for word). But, by all means, thank you for reinforcing her decision to dump your ass because you were the biggest bullshitter as one of the best decisions in her life.

Oh, and your attempt to “solve” her problem (which she never SAID was a problem) by telling her to just forget about the current love of her life. Well, that did nothing but anger her more and make it that much easier for her to ignore all the future TIMES (plural) you called until she blocked your number.

Now, I know sometimes we all like to take a trip down memory lane, and that’s ok. I do it too. I’m not saying NOT to do it. But sometimes, its best to just do it with the photo album. If you want to know what they are currently up to, try googling them! An email would work a whole lot better. If that doesn’t work, then hire a private investigator, or stalk them again, but for god’s sake, DON’T call them demanding to know all the reasons the relationship from over a decade ago went wrong and then lecture her about how her life has currently gone wrong and try to remedy it with something you memorized out of a textbook.

Please make it a virtual trip down memory lane. She will thank you tomorrow, or in her next life.


Miss Y. Dontugoaway


Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013-2016
Print Friendly, PDF & Email