“…because I had never, ever figured out how to f**king deal.”

– Marya Hornbacher said that in her book Wasted. Why is this part of my “favorite things” series of posts???  Because Marya Horbacher is not only an amazing woman and I have a deep admiration for her, but she is an outstanding writer and even more than that, her first book Wasted may have saved my life.  After reading that book, and seeing how she could get down to 54 pounds and be given one […]

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Weighing In – Recovered or Not

One question I have been thinking about when thinking of eating disorders is, IS THERE FULL RECOVERY?  What is considered full recovery?  I mean, obviously if you have bulimia and stop purging, then you have reached recovery in that respect, but what about anorexia?  If you are not restricting calories, not working out to extremes (or working out at all), not taking anything to intentionally make you lose weight, but  it still takes you hours […]

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I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me……orrrrr not???

For a good majority of my life, I walked around feeling completely and utterly inferior.  Somewhere along the line, I decided that I had to be perfect in order for my mom to love me. SOMETHING I HAD CREATED MYSELF IN MY OWN MIND and I carried that weight around with me for years and years.  While carrying that around, and trying to be perfect academically, I was trying to fit in socially.  The first […]

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Lets Fight!!!!

There are many ways to fight.  There are arguments between people and there are individuals fighting against things.  We fight against illness, we fight against feelings, we fight against our own judgment.  Today, lets fight against our inner demons and lets fight for wellness. Anorexia and Bulimia took over my life for many years.  If I could go back and take back all the time that was spent absorbed in my eating disorders, I would […]

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Counting the Numbers

  The cold washes through my soul Wanting to be thin Thinking it will make me whole So every calorie I consume Delicately counted One too many, run to the bathroom Indulging just one time You failure Get rid of it, all will be fine Stepping on the hated scale Watching in horror The number to big, you fail. Wanting all the fat to disappear Crying each night For the fat is always here But […]

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Withering

What have I become? What’s happening to me? I’m withering away and others can see My hands shake, my body cold My bones are protruding, my secret unfolds The fear of the weight, the fear of the food Fighting and fighting with a new attitude Food is my enemy, the toilet my friend My desire to be thin makes my health easy to expend Looking in the mirror, A stranger I see Fat and ugly, […]

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I pledge…..

ANAD Pledge I will accept myself as I am. My uniqueness is a badge of honor, something to be proud of. There is no one in the world quite like me and I will strive to develop my special skills and abilities. I will accept others as they are. Each person is special and different. I will to try to learn from these differences rather than be critical of them. I will support diversity and […]

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