A Day In the Life of A Bipolar in Therapy

This is a direct entry from my journal.  Sometimes I have to look back to see how far I have come and to remind myself where I DON’T want to go…… September 16, 2006 I spent the day with MSA from group.  I had a good time.  [My boyfriend’s] friend gave us his tickets to go see Wicked and we went.  This was the second night in a row I felt normal.  I mean, we… Continue Reading

Is the Hot Mess REALLY a Mess?

“I’m a mess!” When I first began talking to CJ, I warned him. I told him that I was a mess, a walking disaster, and if it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all. He didn’t believe me. I picked him up from the airport for the first time. Between baggage claim at O’Hare and my car in the parking garage ready to head off, I think “we” (meaning me) lost… Continue Reading

How to be “cool” the Chicago Way ?….

OR, not.  More like “How to Be a Disgusting Excuse For A Human Being As Demonstrated By Chicago Teens.“ I just read this article on the Huffington Post ()  These teens found a 62-year old father of 12 hunting for aluminum cans to help supplement his income to support his family.  They beat him up and stole the $60 he had on him.  Not only did this do this atrocious act (which is actually not… Continue Reading

Yup. Defective ………..

I was born defective, only nobody knew it then.  It wouldn’t become evident until later, when I was in high school.  My mind, my heart, and soul were always in this very sad, dark place.  Nothing could cheer me up.  I couldn’t keep friends (and honestly, I don’t even blame them looking back.  Who wants to be with someone that is constantly a downer?), I believed I was fat and ugly, had many crushes but… Continue Reading

Is THIS all there is????

If THIS is all there is to life, then I would like to see a copy of the contract or would like the receipt so I can get an exchange.  Am I going to be waking up at the crack of dawn to get some work in BEFORE work, then working 8 hours (to be able to bill the client for 7) only to go home and work another 4 hours on either work stuff,… Continue Reading

The Awful, Ugly, Rotton Truth

I’m a bitch! When I have alcohol pulsing through my system, I turn into Cruella DeVille and tear apart everything in my path. I HATE IT!!!! I hate myself for it. I always say that I’m not going to drink anymore, but that never lasts. Usually its the one person I care about most that I hurt. It has gotten to the point that they wouldn’t even accept my apologies anymore. And, now that they… Continue Reading