Hot Mess Gets Her Shit Together

Having such a public lifestyle, and yes, I knew that when I started this, I get a lot of opinions, suggestions, and advice on where I should go from here with my life and my blog and my love life.  You name it, I get the advice. Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate ALL the advice and suggestions and opinions from everyone. I truly do. That said, many of you know all the struggles… Continue Reading

Another year older, but wiser?

Here I am.  Another year older.  I woke up this morning and was actually relieved that I was not hungover (as I usually am after a night of birthday celebrations) but instead just looked like I was run over.  If smeared eyeliner and the rats nest of curls with mass quantities of hairspray were the only evidence of a night out, then for sure it was a success.  I’ve also been awake for almost 12… Continue Reading

How do you rise after the “Big Crash”?

You wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and staring back is remnants of 4 years of ups and downs, job loss, lost loves, lost friendships, not to mention the wear and tear of countless different medication combinations; fear as you look around your room, in your parents house.  That THIS is what you let yourself become after you swore to yourself after your first hospital visit in 2006, when you were diagnosed, that… Continue Reading

“It Will Get Better!” LIARS!!!!!

People try to encourage you and tell you that things will get better. “Once the divorce is finalized, it will get better,” “Once you get over him, it will get better,”  “Once you get approved for disability, things will get better,” they said. REALLY? Because my divorce is finalized, I got over HIM, and I got approved for disability and things just seem to continue to keep crashing downhill.  You think you hit rock bottom,… Continue Reading

*Flashback* A year ago…..

It was a year ago yesterday. The first time I went into the hospital. And I don’t know why, but yesterday and today all I can do is cry. I know I am happy at how far I have come, but at the same time, I think about what I was like back then and it makes me so sad. I still remember it all like it was yesterday. And, right now, I don’t know… Continue Reading