All, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Featured, Random Musings

They are Here! Bipolar Hot Mess T-Shirts

A great big shout out to AIR-WEAR Recovery for working so hard to make them look so AHHMAZING!  Each shirt can be personalized so you can pick your color  and style and then the logo you want as well!  Also, for each shirt purchased, a donation will be made to the Bipolar Hot Mess website.  Now, check out these awesome …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Coping Techniques, Featured, Healthy Changes, Humor, Humor

Another birthday creeping up…

Another year farther away from what my life used to be.  That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.  This year, I want to make this a birthday to remember, but I want to remember it the way my new life is; not how life used to be. What did life …

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Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Diary, Pre Diagnosis, Random Musings, Relationships (Love)

Feelings or Numb

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset. I hate being annoyed. I hate loving someone. I hate it because I …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Criminal Justice and Legal Field, Featured

Another anniversary. Do you celebrate this one?

Anniversaries are intended to be dates that you remember and commemorate because it is some type of a milestone. There are wedding anniversaries, anniversaries of the date you were hired at your place of employment, anniversaries of sobriety dates, I think you get the point. But today, today is an anniversary that I’m very conflicted about. There are many reasons …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Criminal Justice and Legal Field, Featured

Why a mental health advocate cares about crime, justice, prisons, prosecutors and laws

Some of you have known me for many years as friends, relatives, colleagues, or just through my writing and advocacy work on other sites, and I thank you so much for still supporting me and following my journey! Many are just starting to get to know me, The Bipolar Hot Mess, as a blogger, an advocate, and slowly as a …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Diary, Featured

A Sneak Peak, Finally…..

INTRODUCTION August 15, 2012 The tears would not stop falling. They began soaking into my mom’s nightgown and the sheets of her bed. My head was rested on her stomach and she stroked my hair and whispered, “It’s going to be ok. It’s going to take time. We don’t hate you. Why would we ever hate you? It just takes …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Change, Healthy Changes, Healthy Life & Relationships, Relationship (friendships)

The “WTF Is Happening” Phase

I can’t speak for everyone, but right before I was diagnosed with bipolar and the weeks and months after, there was A LOT of chaos. When I talk about chaos, I talk not just with me, but with my friends and family too. One minute, there I was, sitting in my office Bates stamping documents for a document production for …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings

And yet….and yet I wonder……

Yes. Me wondering is a very dangerous thing because my mind, thoughts and ideas can travel to some really really unexpected places. BUT… I wonder, as I have been doing some research on mental illnesses in my recent quest to do some volunteer work (to give me something to do which will get me out of my boyfriend’s hair, and …

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All, Archived, Featured

The Anger, the pain, why is this happening all over again?

Because you are a stupid girl. You never learn. You were hurt. It hurt so bad that you never thought you would recover.  But you did.  You not only recovered, but you fell in love again. Stupid you. Giving your heart up so fast. Stupid you.  Thinking someone understood you.  Stupid you. Believing when they said they would not give …

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Change, Healthy Changes, Physical Health

I’m NOT all glitter and unicorns you know.

Sometimes, you realize that everything turned out to be nothing you ever could imagine it would and get so low you can’t get out anymore. That everyone else is going on and living life the way you want and should be, but you aren’t because the physical pain and emotional pain has you frozen and you can’t move. Have you …

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