All, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Hot Mess Daily Life, Bipolar Hot Mess Diary

A blast from the past…

Another trip through the Bipolar Hot Mess Archives….. So, I have been going through journals and re-reading poems that I have written, trying to piece back together what happened and what I was feeling prior to and while I was in therapy. Sometimes, it seems such a blur, and sometimes it seems clear as day. Sometimes, I can’t even remember…

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All, Bipolar Disorder

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Cripes. Its here……..Totally Snuck Up On Me

What’s here?  The depressive cycle.  I tried.  I really did.  I tried to fight this like Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby (no, not the last fight she was in!!! All the ones before, you know, the ones that got her TO that last fight).  But, as nature likes to remind me, IT calls the shots. Stupid nature. I mean,…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Change, Featured, Random Musings

From Witty………to Shitty…….

another unpublished post I dug up from the archives (this cleaning stuff has really benefited in more ways than one): Yes folks. I have gone from coming up with endless amounts of witty comments and diatribes, to thinking nothing but shitty things. What could cause such a drastic turn in one’s brain you ask?! Well, the other part of being…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Coping Techniques, Emotional Change, Family & Friends (Advice), Healthy Changes, Healthy Life & Relationships, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love)

Dear Friends, I suck.

Dear Friends, Yes.  I admit that I have become a shithead lately.  I have crawled into a cave and found myself a nice cozy blanket in there.  No, it’s not warm in there.  No, it’s not fun.  No, I don’t want to be there, but it has become my self preservation and coping mechanism.  If I just stay in the…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Healthy Life & Relationships, Relationship (friendships)

Ok. I did it. I broke the cardinal rule…..

I couldn’t help it!!!  It just kinda crept up on me and before I knew it, it slapped me in the face and started laughing at me!! And now, its too late to call “time-out” and make time freeze (like Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell) so I can fix it.  It always creeps up on you.  People point it…

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All, Archived, Random Musings

They said it would be better

Yes. They all said that after my divorce was final, I would feel better.  But I don’t.  I feel just the same; if not worse.  They said I would feel a huge weight lifted off me.  But I don’t.  Instead I feel an ever greater weight on me…..an enormous attorney bill contributing to it all.  They said it would be…

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All, Featured, Healthy Life & Relationships, Random Musings, Relationship (friendships), Relationships (Love)

Completely unimaginable…..

Have you ever sat and thought about all the things that you would be amazed at if they ever happened, but you know that in reality they never will. Like, your boyfriend/girlfriend uttering the following words “You were right”. Everyone has a list, and mine is definitely more expansive than what I just mentioned. I always picture that one day…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Healthy Changes, Random Musings

Death. The Love Hate Relationship

A major widespread concern these days has been suicide.  I started to think about this because of a book my sister gave me to read and because of events currently in my family.  Not necessarily suicide, but death.  My sister gave me the book  “Life, In Spite of Me: Extraordinary Hope After a Fatal Choice” by Kristen Jane Anderson.  The…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Featured

Its Only Been a Month, How is this happening so soon?!

Last month, I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for a variety of reasons.  I was extremely suicidal, severely depressed, my medications were not working properly, and I just couldn’t get my bipolar disorder roller coaster under control.  Not a novice to the whole “hospital” thing (I had 2 visits previously at another location) I knew that I had to…

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All, Bipolar Disorder, Musings Posted On Other Sites

Stormy Waters – January 2012 IBPF Post

How do you deal when you go from being so completely stable and feeling better than you have in years, to hitting rock bottom with your whole world crumbling around you, walking in the door to work and handing them the note from your doctor instructing them to put you on leave under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) effective…

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