Why do I keep everything buried inside?

Someone asked me the other day why I keep everything inside. They wanted to know why I don’t talk to anyone about anything that is bothering me and let it all keep building up in there. There are a million reasons why people keep things tucked away, far down below where no one can see it or come close to accessing it. When you do ask, you will probably get a plethora of different answers.… Continue Reading

Are your feelings like a scary movie????

Do certain emotions freak you out?  Like love for example.  Does the thought of being in love terrify you so much you find yourself retreating up the stairs and trapped in a closet while love comes after you ready to attack at any second?  (In every scary movie, everyone always runs up the stairs and traps themselves instead of running out the door.  Instinct I guess?  Pretty shitty instinct though. The villan is going to… Continue Reading

Feelings or Numb

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset. I hate being annoyed. I hate loving someone. I hate it because I always love that person too much. I always love the person like 100 times more… Continue Reading

To Feel Real

Thoughts spin Through my head Feelings as though I am dead My heart is numb My hands tremble No part of happiness do I resemble Darkness flashes Before my face Life is swift Mostly a race A race to be better Than the person before To have more things Than the person next door. You try so hard You forget to feel The happiness of each day To know you are real Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2013  Related posts:… Continue Reading

Falling Deeper

My heart is empty My soul is hollow I’m lonely inside I sit and wallow My eyes tear My head bows low My tears fill up All of my empty soul My hands tremble My heart begins to ache This empty feeling I can not shake The room begins to spin It engulfs me whole I try to escape But fall deeper in the hole. Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2017  Related posts: Empty Lost My Soul Angel In Disguise… Continue Reading

Love, Emotions, I hate feeling emotions…

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?  Love is such a weird emotion to me. I hate the fact that my mind and body have the ability to love people.  Actually, on second thought, I hate having a lot of other emotions and feelings.  I mean, love isn’t the only emotion. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset and let’s… Continue Reading