Another Untitled Poem

You’re in my heart, you’re in my dreams Not a moment is without you in my mind, it seems You make me laugh, you make me warm You make me smile through my emotional storms I’ve opened my heart, I’ve opened my soul Given you all I have, I hope you know You’ve turned my days from black to gold All of my secrets have begun to unfold But this part of my heart and voice… Continue Reading

Better from here

  I opened the door of the empty home The silence echos, another night alone Walk up the stairs, turn on the light Far too often, yet doesn’t feel right Turn on the TV, its the same routine The haze in my mind makes it all feel like a dream My phone begins to ring, your name staring at me Instantly I’m smiling and leaving behind the insanity My world gets brighter when I know… Continue Reading

Every Night I Am Afraid

Yes. I am afraid. It’s bedtime and I’m terrified. This is the time I always become the most afraid. I lay in bed while I begin to panic and cry because I am afraid that he is going to forget me. That he is going to forget how much he loves me, forget what it feels like to love me, forget what it looks like to love me, forget what I look like, forget how much… Continue Reading

Feelings or Numb

(Excerpts from the journals of the Bipolar Hot Mess. All names have been changed for privacy.) Why do you love someone?? Love is such a weird emotion. I hate loving people. Actually, I hate having emotions. I hate feelings. I hate feeling sad, or mad, or upset. I hate being annoyed. I hate loving someone. I hate it because I always love that person too much. I always love the person like 100 times more… Continue Reading

Everything you need

Into my life you appeared from out of the blue You were there for me when I didn’t know what to do I was lost and spinning into the ground Sweeping me up, suddenly I’m found. Bringing me smiles and the spark in my eye Wiping the ever flowing tears that I cry Opening my heart to a feeling so new A friend by my side that I fell in love with too. All I… Continue Reading

Without You

A day without you is like sitting in the rain Drenched and heavy, feeling so cold each drop causing pain A day without you makes me so empty inside So hollow, so worthless,  its like a part of me has died When we are together, I feel like I’m whole and complete All the happiness that was missing came back in a sweep You make me laugh and I’m a better version of me When… Continue Reading

Graduating From Therapy! *from the archives*

From the Hot Mess Archives! Yippie! I am FINALLY graduating on March 20! I am so glad and feel such a sense of accomplishment. However, I am still sad. My parents, bro and sis are going to be there, which is awesome, but there is one person that I want to be there, that isn’t. They have to work. Its disappointing because I want that person to share the excitement of how far I have… Continue Reading

Untitled 3

Shattered dreams, the pieces fall. You pick me up through it all Tears flowing from my eyes You make sure my sadness dies. Each day I awake from slumber to see Just how much more you mean to me. You’ve captured my heart, stolen my soul. Love for you grows out of control. A life without meaning has come to an end. You’ve opened me up, I no longer pretend. Elation fills me when it’s… Continue Reading

Completely unimaginable…..

Have you ever sat and thought about all the things that you would be amazed at if they ever happened, but you know that in reality they never will. Like, your boyfriend/girlfriend uttering the following words “You were right”. Everyone has a list, and mine is definitely more expansive than what I just mentioned. I always picture that one day those crushes from back in the day, or exes, would somehow find me and declare… Continue Reading

With love I write…

With love I write these words to you But even these words might not do For all the love I hold for you in my heart Not an appropriate word with which to start I know I don’t always do the right thing I get cranky and crabby and always have to sing I realize my quirks can bug you to death and now I can’t find a rhyme for death. You are my life,… Continue Reading