Every Night I Am Afraid

Yes. I am afraid. It’s bedtime and I’m terrified. This is the time I always become the most afraid. I lay in bed while I begin to panic and cry because I am afraid that he is going to forget me. That he is going to forget how much he loves me, forget what it feels like to love me, forget what it looks like to love me, forget what I look like, forget how much… Continue Reading

To Feel Real

Thoughts spin Through my head Feelings as though I am dead My heart is numb My hands tremble No part of happiness do I resemble Darkness flashes Before my face Life is swift Mostly a race A race to be better Than the person before To have more things Than the person next door. You try so hard You forget to feel The happiness of each day To know you are real Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2013  Related posts:… Continue Reading

Its Only Been a Month, How is this happening so soon?!

Last month, I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for a variety of reasons.  I was extremely suicidal, severely depressed, my medications were not working properly, and I just couldn’t get my bipolar disorder roller coaster under control.  Not a novice to the whole “hospital” thing (I had 2 visits previously at another location) I knew that I had to attend the scheduled group sessions and do what the nurses and my assigned treating pDoc… Continue Reading


Musings from an old journal…. timewarp back to 2007….. Grrr…. always thinkin….. but, I guess its good to think and get it all out rather than keepin it all in and building up. I just can’t focus tonight and I can’t sleep because I know I have homework that needs to be finished. I read a page, then re-read the page, then move on, but my mind keeps wandering….. I would love to be a… Continue Reading