Pulled from the Hot Mess Archives….
In the past few weeks, I have had people who have said they thought I was one of the strongest people they know, that I am stronger than they ever could be under the circumstances, and that they are amazed. I have also had the complete opposite and have been told that I am weak and that I need to stop being weak and need to stand up and fight harder.
Then, do we have conflicting definitions on what defines a person as weak???? Because I think I have been pretty strong. I have had several instances where there was almost a hospital admission and I refused to let myself end up there so I fought it. There were days I was driving my car and saw a wall up ahead and sped up hoping to hit it, but turned at the last minute. I told myself that I could come back from this. If I could come back from my condition when I was first diagnosed with bipolar, I could come back from this. Everyone seperates, everyone loses jobs and has to switch careers, people have illnesses that cause them to be off work until they are better again, and they all make it out of these situations alive. SURE, mine are all at once (why would it be easy for me.) but I’m not committed yet, so I must be doing something right. I still wake up every morning and may not be happy to, may not want to, in fact, I may cry for a half hour begging the sun to go away and not make me get up and face whatever new shit is going to happen today, but I DO get up. I do try to make it through the day.
Well, what defines a person as being weak then? Does crying make them weak? Does giving up make them weak? Does not even trying at all make them weak? Really? What is the definition of a weak person? Well, lets check the dictionary and see what they have to say. These are directly copied from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weak.
2.a: mentally or intellectually deficientb: not firmly decided :vacillatingc: resulting from or indicating lack of judgment or discernmentd: not able to withstand temptation or persuasion <the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak>
3: not factually grounded or logically presented <a weakargument>
4a: not able to function properly <weak eyes>b (1): lacking skill or proficiency <tutoring for weakerstudents> (2): indicative of a lack of skill or aptitude<history was my weakest subject>c: wanting in vigor of expression or effect <a weaktranslation of the poem>
5a: deficient in the usual or required ingredients :dilute<weak coffee>b: lacking normal intensity or potency <a weak radio signal><a weak strain of virus>
7: of, relating to, or constituting a verb or verb conjugation that in English forms the past tense and past participle by adding the suffix -ed or -d or -t
8a: bearing the minimal degree of stress occurring in the language <a weak syllable>b: having little or no stress and obscured vowel sound <‘d inhe’d is the weak form of would>
9: tending toward a lower price or value <a weak market> <aweak dollar>
10: ionizing only slightly in solution <weak acids and bases>— weak·lyadverb
Ummmmm totally not relevant!
Synonyms: asthenic, debilitated, delicate, down-and-out, effete, enervated, enfeebled, faint, feeble, frail, infirm, languid, low, prostrate, prostrated, sapped, slight, soft, softened, tender, unsubstantial, wasted, weakened,wimpish, wimpy
OK, SO MAAAYYYBEEEE THE DOWN-AND-OUT PHRASE APPLIES, BUT NOT FRAIL, OR WIMPY! TENDER, POSSIBLY, SOFT? NOT SO MUCH. At least in my opinion. I mean, who wouldn’t be in general just down and out or a little tender? I think if you weren’t, then you didn’t have a heart or soul or weren’t human. So, I don’t think those words mean I am weak.
So, these definitions don’t really describe me as it applies to this situation, but is it possible that I am still considered weak by societies standards? Or is this just something that is being thrown at me to make me feel like a pile of crap?????
What do you guys think?