Someone asked me the other day why I keep everything inside. They wanted to know why I don’t talk to anyone about anything that is bothering me and let it all keep building up in there. There are a million reasons why people keep things tucked away, far down below where no one can see it or come close to accessing it. When you do ask, you will probably get a plethora of different answers. Here are some of the more popular reasons on my radar. (These may not necessarily all be mine. Since I work with, and know, a variety of individuals, one thing you can count on is that I derive my input from a variety of sources, so please don’t automatically assume these are all mine.)
#1 The personal terror, or fear, of these buried stories or “secrets” being made a little too public leaving you and your secrets vulnerable to being used against yourself at some point.
#2 Would it actually make a difference if we told you? Would things change so dramatically if we revealed these thoughts or feelings to you? And if things did change, would it be better or worse in the end?
#3 Previous experience has shown that the individual doesn’t really want to know and by divulging, you soon regret it.
#4 You fear the response if you actually opened up.
#5 They don’t seem interested in the least bit or haven’t even noticed a change in you, so saying anything would seem to fall on deaf ears.
#6 You’ve opened up before and the mere sight of a tear or raw emotion freaks them out, even if the tear is just because of happiness or just because you are feeling emotional because of “that time of the month” so you are afraid to open up lest a tear trickle down and it all backfires.
#7 You are just waiting for them to actually ask you or show a genuine interest in your feelings
#8 the generic “I know how that feels” is the last thing you want to hear. You are quite aware that others “know how it feels,” you just want them to know THAT is how YOU are feeling right now.
#9 you don’t necessarily want a solution, but just want some sort of comfort and you know the person isn’t going to give that comfort you need, so you feel that just keeping it inside is far better than feeling rejected.
Do any of these sound familiar to you?